Living at Home after 30: It’s not as scary as it seems…

I’ve wrestled with whether or not I should write this. Most of you who know me are already aware of my situation. However, you scroll through countless timelines, watch your friends post about buying their first house, getting married, reproducing replicas of themselves and you start to think… what am I doing with my life?

Well, it’s funny you should ask that. Because my answer is I’m living at home… with my momma. And let me tell you, I’m not ashamed of that by ANY means (and bonus for you if you know my mother, than you KNOW why this isn’t a bad thing at all).

We 80s babies, even some of you 90s babies, are told to go to college, get your degree (which 80% of us won’t use it within the first 5 years after graduating) and then get a job to pay for said degree. No one REALLY tells you that the cost of living will more than double before your fifth year reunion and living on your own seems to be more and more unattainable.

I did move out. To Miami. In November of 2007. Took a job. In real estate. You see where this is going? In case you don’t, I quickly became a statistic of the Great Recession and living “on my own” was not an easy way to come by. Fast forward August of 2009, I moved back home. Struggled to get a job, as was half the country at the time, and I finally ended up at the place I’m still at today. Been there since 2011. It’s good. I have benefits. I get time off. But I still live at home. Why?

The cost of living in and around the City of Boston (as well as many other big cities) comes too close to my monthly income. THAT’S JUST RENT. That’s not including utilities, cell phone bills, school loans on school loans, a car note, and money to just LIVE LIFE. And forgive me, but I think the point in life is to not only work hard, but have the adventures and experiences this life has to offer. It has to be more than just having a roof over your head. But if the price to pay is to live a life that is more than just rent and bills and I have to live at home with my momma for the time being in order to do that, judge me for it! I’m still living the best life…

Anyways, I digress. My bad. So, in thinking of whether or not I should write this, I’ve read quite a few blog entries of how “horrible” it is to live at home. Horrible, wow. That’s a really strong term. Horrible. Really?! Are your parents THAT bad or is it you aka… your ego? Honestly, I really don’t see anything wrong with it and yes, I’m MORE than bias on this. Here’s why: It took me moving to Miami for my mom and I’s relationship to change for the better (that’s another blog post for another day, maybe). There are studies that actually show living with your parents helps them live longer (you’re welcome MA! and you can Google that later too), but above it all, it’s really nice to have a parent who understands my financial situation, understands what I can and can’t afford, and adjusts to the notion that 18 was not the magic number to remain an empty-nester.

I can sense that people react to me differently when I mention I live at home. Once they meet my mother, they get it! Living with my momma is an adventure. Of course it still has it’s challenges. I mean, after all, she’s still my mom. But like with any relationship, it’s give and take. One week, I’ll do her laundry along with my own. Another week, she’ll iron my work clothes because she just happens to be ironing hers too. We take turns cooking, we battle on Jeopardy every night and at any point, you may catch the two of us spontaneously dancing in the kitchen because we just heard a really dope beat! I listen to her talk about retiring, she helps me navigate my anxiety of not living the “social norm”. Honestly, living with her has been the best thing, for the both of us.

And look, I understand that some of you reading this might have really wide eyes or maybe even be a little judgey about this (that’s okay. It doesn’t bother me.). I understand living at home isn’t for everyone. It’s a hard notion for people to grasp. For me, I’d rather live with my mom, a person I can trust with my entire life, than someone I met in my late twenties, but that’s just me. I’ve had people turn their nose up at me like I’m not a “real adult” because I still live at home with my mom. I’ve had others tell me they wish they could live at home because of the financial stress they’re under. Of course, I would like to own a house, get married and have a whole bunch of fur babies (there’s already a blog about that), but I think the root of all of this is to not compare yourself or your situation with anyone else’s. As long as you’re working hard, busting your WHOLE ass to be better version of yourself, stacking your chips (saving money) and are living the life you’re meant to in your current situation, why should it matter? SPOILER ALERT… it doesn’t!

There are so many more things I could put in this entry, so many other things I probably could have/should have clarified, but I think I’ve said all I needed to. Your living situation is your own and should not be compared to others. Are you working on being a better person than you were the day before? Are you saving the money you need to so that you’ll eventually get your own place? Are you and your roommate (parent or not) living your best lives? If you’ve answered yes to any of these, you’re already on the right track. And as long as you have a place to sleep at night, than hey! Keep doing you! I’ll tell you one thing, amongst the 947 things I’ve just rambled about in the post, living with my momma in this moment, I can’t help but feel grateful for this life I have! I mean, c’mon! Look at the love (see pic below)!

Whatever you decide to take from this, just know that everyone’s situation is different. Everyone’s living situation is unique to them. And in that, many of us are not alone in our situations. As different as we seem, it may behoove us to keep in mind that there’s a great deal of similarity in those “differences”. As long as you have a home filled with Love, everything else is secondary.

xoxox